Sometimes, something comes up that makes you eternally thankful for the NHS and free contraception: click to read
Yet, I know personally that I hadn't even considered that you might have to pay for the pill when I first started taking it. I cringe at the thought of how much money I would have spent by now if I'd lived in the US as a teenager.
And we don't even have to pay for condoms, if we don't want to.
Thank the deities for the NHS.
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Prejudice, idiots and retribution
I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. Across my forehead.
I am utterly and unreservedly pissed off with the attitudes of people in positions of power when they meet me. I say positions of power, rather than professionals, because this isn't just an issue I have with traditionally 'powerful' people. I even experienced it last week from a library assistant.
What am I talking about? Judgemental attitudes.
I'm wondering what I should put on my tattoo, something simple like "I've got a degree, actually," might cover most of it.
I feel so disgusted when people think they can talk to others with such condescension, based on prejudices about the way someone is dressed, the colour of their hair, or their age. I don't know which of these aspects I get judged on most often, whether it is a combination of all of them or something more, but it damn well pisses me off!
Two recent events have triggered this:
The first was when I discovered NP had an eye infection and I rushed her to an emergency appointment at the surgery. She'd already had two such infections in previous months and I wanted to catch it early this time. We took Spongebob with us, a little toy that she finds very comforting and sleeps with every night, but doesn't tend to use as a comfort item all the time. It also gets washed regularly.
I was seen by an older female doctor who proceeded to speak to me in a tone that rendered me speechless:
I am utterly and unreservedly pissed off with the attitudes of people in positions of power when they meet me. I say positions of power, rather than professionals, because this isn't just an issue I have with traditionally 'powerful' people. I even experienced it last week from a library assistant.
What am I talking about? Judgemental attitudes.
I'm wondering what I should put on my tattoo, something simple like "I've got a degree, actually," might cover most of it.
I feel so disgusted when people think they can talk to others with such condescension, based on prejudices about the way someone is dressed, the colour of their hair, or their age. I don't know which of these aspects I get judged on most often, whether it is a combination of all of them or something more, but it damn well pisses me off!
Two recent events have triggered this:
The first was when I discovered NP had an eye infection and I rushed her to an emergency appointment at the surgery. She'd already had two such infections in previous months and I wanted to catch it early this time. We took Spongebob with us, a little toy that she finds very comforting and sleeps with every night, but doesn't tend to use as a comfort item all the time. It also gets washed regularly.
I was seen by an older female doctor who proceeded to speak to me in a tone that rendered me speechless:
Her: "Well, it doesn't help using Spongebob to wipe her eye with then rubbing it all over the other eye"
Me: "hahaha [nervous laughter] yeah I know"
Her: "No, I'm serious because....blah blah put it in the microwave blah blah [ basically continuing in the vein of 'you're a stupid girl]' "
Firstly, I've just acknowledge what you said, you really don't need to qualify that for me.
Secondly, I know how infections work. I was even commended by the last lovely doctor I saw for not letting it spread to the other eye after weeks of trying to treat it at home. The other eye wasn't even showing signs of gunk this time.
Thirdly, that tone of voice is one I wouldn't use with anyone who was asking me a perfectly reasonable question, even if I thought they needed a little education. It was reminiscent of the teacher at primary school telling off the serial misbehave-er! Yes, my kid was getting a recurring infection, but it's not like I can prevent her getting a cold and rubbing her snot in her eye!
The whole situation got me so flustered that I couldn't even string sentences together, I was so angry, but instead of delivering a well structured smack down about prejudice, I ended up silently fuming whilst babbling about biological washing powder!
The other incident involved the utter stereotype of a grumpy library assistant. I don't say this lightly - I have years of experience of working in libraries and happen to know that lots of library staff are fun-loving, fantastic people. It boiled down to the fact that I was listed as 'staff' on the library system, when I no longer worked for the authority. This individual reeked of condescension throughout our whole exchange, for no reason other than the fact my status hadn't been changed on the computer. I tried to make light of it:
Secondly, I know how infections work. I was even commended by the last lovely doctor I saw for not letting it spread to the other eye after weeks of trying to treat it at home. The other eye wasn't even showing signs of gunk this time.
Thirdly, that tone of voice is one I wouldn't use with anyone who was asking me a perfectly reasonable question, even if I thought they needed a little education. It was reminiscent of the teacher at primary school telling off the serial misbehave-er! Yes, my kid was getting a recurring infection, but it's not like I can prevent her getting a cold and rubbing her snot in her eye!
The whole situation got me so flustered that I couldn't even string sentences together, I was so angry, but instead of delivering a well structured smack down about prejudice, I ended up silently fuming whilst babbling about biological washing powder!
The other incident involved the utter stereotype of a grumpy library assistant. I don't say this lightly - I have years of experience of working in libraries and happen to know that lots of library staff are fun-loving, fantastic people. It boiled down to the fact that I was listed as 'staff' on the library system, when I no longer worked for the authority. This individual reeked of condescension throughout our whole exchange, for no reason other than the fact my status hadn't been changed on the computer. I tried to make light of it:
Her: "Do you still work there?"
Me: "No, not for a while, haha"
Her: "Well you shouldn't really be staff then should you?" (note the same 'stupid girl' tone?)
Me: "Ahh, isn't there some kind of solidarity with ex-staff?" (Joking, smiling, being friendly)
Her: "No"
Utterly miserable cow, no doubt, but why?
Why did this jobsworth assistant feel the need to be so bleeding miserable with someone who's attitude was nothing but friendly? Perhaps it's also useful to bear in mind that I'd already had this conversation 1 year earlier with a (supervisory) member of staff at a local branch library; a lady with whom I'd had a lovely chat about the changes since I'd worked there. She also (obviously) hadn't changed my status at that time.
Maybe I'm paranoid, maybe I'm overly sensitive, maybe maybe maybe.
But maybe I'm getting judged for being a young, blonde, lazily dressed parent. I may just try one day getting an appointment with the same doctor, dressed in a suit with a power hair-do and make up. Because I'm perfectly capable of doing that. I'm perfectly qualified to hold a job that would require that. But why should I conform to society's class standards and gender restrictions?
I was a mum worried about her daughter, I wasn't going to dress up to go to the sodding doctors in an emergency, and I shouldn't be judged for that. My little girl wanted some comfort and I let her take her toy, I shouldn't be judged for that. Perhaps I should stop being friendly and approachable, because it stops people from forming respectful opinions?
It's hard to broach this issue when you're dealing with a power difference, obviously, but at least with the library situation I've got the means and inclination to do something about it. I sent a very derisive email to the library and received the following (abridged) reply today:
Why did this jobsworth assistant feel the need to be so bleeding miserable with someone who's attitude was nothing but friendly? Perhaps it's also useful to bear in mind that I'd already had this conversation 1 year earlier with a (supervisory) member of staff at a local branch library; a lady with whom I'd had a lovely chat about the changes since I'd worked there. She also (obviously) hadn't changed my status at that time.
Maybe I'm paranoid, maybe I'm overly sensitive, maybe maybe maybe.
But maybe I'm getting judged for being a young, blonde, lazily dressed parent. I may just try one day getting an appointment with the same doctor, dressed in a suit with a power hair-do and make up. Because I'm perfectly capable of doing that. I'm perfectly qualified to hold a job that would require that. But why should I conform to society's class standards and gender restrictions?
I was a mum worried about her daughter, I wasn't going to dress up to go to the sodding doctors in an emergency, and I shouldn't be judged for that. My little girl wanted some comfort and I let her take her toy, I shouldn't be judged for that. Perhaps I should stop being friendly and approachable, because it stops people from forming respectful opinions?
It's hard to broach this issue when you're dealing with a power difference, obviously, but at least with the library situation I've got the means and inclination to do something about it. I sent a very derisive email to the library and received the following (abridged) reply today:
I am very sorry that you had such poor service on Saturday. It was obviously far below our standards and I apologise for it and I will do what I can to improve the situation.
In our regular customer surveys we generally get a very high rating for customer satisfaction so things were certainly not good that day.
[...]
In the situation this would have left the least experienced staff on the desk. Your comments do highlight the need to give casual staff training in customer care. This is a difficult matter to resolve but we will have to give it some thought. You mention a particular person was “snotty and offensive.” From the timetables I can discover who this was and I will act on this. In this person’s case the problem was not simply lack of experience and knowledge.
Blatantly this person is a problem! I now feel a great degree of satisfaction for calling out her prejudices, and I feel lucky to be able to do this; others might be unable or unaware that they can complain about that sort of treatment. I think privilege definitely can be used for good, as well as evil.
But anyway, at least there was some satisfactory resolution to one incident, but it doesn't remove the gnawing inclination that I get judged for how I look. Which is unfair, to anyone.
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Do feminists recognise a subversive discourse?
Sometimes I worry about feminist righteousness. Upon reading this blog post I felt I needed to reply, but seeing as someone else already covered some of what I was going to say, I thought I'd just have a little rant over here.
After reading reviews on Amazon and doing about 5 minutes of research, this is what I found:
The Surrogates is a sci-fi graphic novel. The premise of the story is that people have become so concerned with their own safety and inner-world that they stay at home all day, linked to a mechanical surrogate who goes out into the world to do their jobs, errands, whatever. It transpires that prejudice is ingrained, no matter if the race/gender of an individual is no longer a certainty.
And so, what do we know about sci-fi and fantasy? It is a medium used to hold a mirror up to society and show it what is wrong, sick or dangerous about the values it extols.
It appears to me that rather than demonstrating that an all-white and (western-type) beauty would create a perfect society, it actually shows that human beings are inherently prejudiced and the choice that people make to have the 'perfect white' surrogate is a symptom of this.
I would like to recognise the possibility that the poster is actually part of a larger subversive discourse, showing that the current images valued by society are not the way forward, and something needs to be done. The fact that the story is set 5 decades in the future, and nothing about beauty standards has changed, is (to me) a chilling message that more needs to be done about the situation today!
Obviously, there is more to the film than I have written here. My quick analysis could be completely wrong, and let's not forget that the story has been adapted for mainstream cinema, and a mainstream audience might miss such a message completely. However, I am frustrated at feminist writers immediately taking offence over an advertisement, without thinking about the further implications, or even doing a little deeper research into the story.
I look forward to the film (not in the least because Bruce Willis is playing the gritty cop!) and I'm currently trying to find the graphic novel at a cheap price, to check whether I feel the same after reading it.
After reading reviews on Amazon and doing about 5 minutes of research, this is what I found:
The Surrogates is a sci-fi graphic novel. The premise of the story is that people have become so concerned with their own safety and inner-world that they stay at home all day, linked to a mechanical surrogate who goes out into the world to do their jobs, errands, whatever. It transpires that prejudice is ingrained, no matter if the race/gender of an individual is no longer a certainty.
And so, what do we know about sci-fi and fantasy? It is a medium used to hold a mirror up to society and show it what is wrong, sick or dangerous about the values it extols.
It appears to me that rather than demonstrating that an all-white and (western-type) beauty would create a perfect society, it actually shows that human beings are inherently prejudiced and the choice that people make to have the 'perfect white' surrogate is a symptom of this.
I would like to recognise the possibility that the poster is actually part of a larger subversive discourse, showing that the current images valued by society are not the way forward, and something needs to be done. The fact that the story is set 5 decades in the future, and nothing about beauty standards has changed, is (to me) a chilling message that more needs to be done about the situation today!
Obviously, there is more to the film than I have written here. My quick analysis could be completely wrong, and let's not forget that the story has been adapted for mainstream cinema, and a mainstream audience might miss such a message completely. However, I am frustrated at feminist writers immediately taking offence over an advertisement, without thinking about the further implications, or even doing a little deeper research into the story.
I look forward to the film (not in the least because Bruce Willis is playing the gritty cop!) and I'm currently trying to find the graphic novel at a cheap price, to check whether I feel the same after reading it.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Updates
Just to let everyone know that two new posts have been added, backdated to March, and that there is one more left to come in the DbD series (Delayed by Dissertation).
Direct Links:
Baby Love
Dog Fouling
Direct Links:
Baby Love
Dog Fouling
Thursday, 23 April 2009
income tax
I've been reading student forums about the 50% income tax.
It's comments like this that rile me:
"Firstly how is it fair if someone who works hard to such an extent that they can provide a better quality of life for themselves and their family, has to shoulder the burden?"
How is it you define a better quality of life?
I feel a bit ill when I think what 'quality of life' might mean to this person.
To me a 'good quality of life' would be having a happy family with food on the table, heating in the house, the ability to save a bit and enough left over for treating yourself to a DVD or pizza every now and then.
But then I'm a stingy cow and wouldn't know what to do with a £150,000 income anyway.
Quality of life.
What does it mean to people?
Hm.
It's comments like this that rile me:
"Firstly how is it fair if someone who works hard to such an extent that they can provide a better quality of life for themselves and their family, has to shoulder the burden?"
How is it you define a better quality of life?
I feel a bit ill when I think what 'quality of life' might mean to this person.
To me a 'good quality of life' would be having a happy family with food on the table, heating in the house, the ability to save a bit and enough left over for treating yourself to a DVD or pizza every now and then.
But then I'm a stingy cow and wouldn't know what to do with a £150,000 income anyway.
Quality of life.
What does it mean to people?
Hm.
Friday, 17 April 2009
Question...
There's a certain online forum [link redacted] that seems to be a place for women who pretend they're not yummy mummy's (but really are) to bitch about other yummy mummy's. It actually makes me feel a bit ill to read the way they snipe at other women.
In this forum women were bitching about stuff that I *loved* to do as a kid, that my daughter also seems to like doing. There's some kind of misunderstanding going on where they seem to think that all parents who encourage their kids to do certain activities are being pushy, rather than the (more accurate, in my case) fact that you're giving them the experience to find out what they like doing.
I don't get it, do they just not connect with their kids? I loved doing stuff with my parents. The only thing that I remember being particularly bored by as a kid is documentaries. But I quite enjoy them now. Funny eh?
In this forum women were bitching about stuff that I *loved* to do as a kid, that my daughter also seems to like doing. There's some kind of misunderstanding going on where they seem to think that all parents who encourage their kids to do certain activities are being pushy, rather than the (more accurate, in my case) fact that you're giving them the experience to find out what they like doing.
I don't get it, do they just not connect with their kids? I loved doing stuff with my parents. The only thing that I remember being particularly bored by as a kid is documentaries. But I quite enjoy them now. Funny eh?
Sunday, 5 April 2009
hiatus
Hi all,
just posting a note to let you know I have a few things half written but I'm taking a break until May to focus on my dissertation. When my half written work is posted it will most likely be back-dated to the original starting date.
Thanks for your interest so far, I hope you'll stay with me!
See you in a month.
Liz
just posting a note to let you know I have a few things half written but I'm taking a break until May to focus on my dissertation. When my half written work is posted it will most likely be back-dated to the original starting date.
Thanks for your interest so far, I hope you'll stay with me!
See you in a month.
Liz
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